Holla at me

My point today is short and sweet: when you see someone you want to talk to, do it!

Think about it: this holds true whether you know the person or not. For example, if you had something that you needed to tell your friend, and you saw your friend, wouldn't you talk to him? Of course you would--you would say what you needed to tell him.

The same attitude should be taken in regard to talking to that dreamy blonde you see at the other end of the bar or that gorgeous brunette you see across the produce section.

I can hear you arguing with me. "But I don't really have anything to say to him/her! Well, except, 'DAYUM, shorty!!'"

There are two possible responses to this:

1. True: the only thing that you have to say is that you find that person very attractive. Okay... so say THAT! In other words, use the direct approach. Most people will find this easier in a venue like a bar rather than a grocery store, but it works everywhere. Seriously. I had a guy use the direct approach on me in Barnes and Noble the other day. Surely, it isn't the most graceful tactic, but that doesn't mean that it isn't effective.
2. False: there are tons of other things that you can say. Use your imagination! Of course, the more clever and witty it is, the better, but your goal isn't to bring the house down; fundamentally, your goal is to engage that person, and in that sense, it does not matter what you say. I know that can be tough to keep in mind, but saying, "Gosh, doesn't this lettuce look great?" and then launching into a description of the salad that you're planning to make truly is better than saying nothing; after all, if you talk about the lettuce, you've achieved your goal of engaging the person, whereas if you say nothing, you have failed.

Of course, we cannot ignore the possibility of adverse circumstances, which would apply to the scenario involving your friend as well. Let's say you need to tell your friend something in private, but he is with a bunch of other people and you can't get him alone, or you see him but can't catch up to him to actually speak to him. These sorts of complications inevitably will arise in your attempts to talk to individuals of interest, and sometimes they are insurmountable. Other times, however, we allow them to be insurmountable when we really could have taken other actions to circumvent them. In the friend scenario, your need to speak with him may not be urgent, and you know that you will have another opportunity to communicate, whether in person or via another medium; he is not about to leave your life forever. As such, if a small obstacle presents itself, it may be a poor use of your time and energy to attempt to get around it.

On the other hand, chances are that you will not have another opportunity to engage a stranger, so you'd better step up to the plate now. Do not trick yourself into thinking that "not having anything funny to say" is a legitimate, insurmountable reason to not talk to someone. Always remember: go get it or regret it. Time for a sports analogy: you can either sit on the bench or go to bat; you may strike out and end up right back on the bench anyway, but you may hit a homerun, and either way, stepping into the box will most assuredly better prepare you for your next at-bat than will watching from the dugout. Do not allow fear of failure to become an obstacle to success. Rather, embrace opportunities to challenge yourself. Succeeding will be that much more rewarding if it is achieved through difficulty, and even if you don't accomplish your goal per se, you will have learned something in the process, will have grown as a person, and will be ready for the next test.