Winter date ideas

With the solstice having passed and the first snows having fallen, winter is officially upon us! Inventing creative date ideas can be more difficult in the winter, as the weather generally dictates that staying inside is your best bet, which lends itself well to safe but boring dates like dinner or drinks. Hopefully my suggestions below will serve you well, or at least jumpstart your own creative juices to come up with something with your own personal twist. Some of my summer date ideas may still work for you, depending on your climate, weather tolerance, and other individual circumstances, so feel free to refer to those when brainstorming as well.

These are organized into in-home activities and out-of-home activities. In-home activities are typically not suitable for first dates, as inviting someone into your home and going into someone else's home involves a certain level of comfort and intimacy that almost always isn't present on a first date--or even a second or third. Particularly if your date is a woman, be wary of prematurely inviting her to your home, as the level of intimacy may make her feel uncomfortable and/or pressured to move forward sexually.

In-Home Activities
Cooking. This is a fun and effective way to get to know each other and deepen your level of intimacy. You'll be physically close, and working together toward the common goal of successfully whipping up a delicious meal will bring you emotionally close as well. You also may get a bit of insight into how clean and/or organized your date likes to be in the kitchen. And for all you Next Top Chefs out there, cooking side by side with your date provides you with a great way to show off.
Arts and crafts. I know that this sounds silly, and it is, so it isn't a date idea for everyone. For those of you who love to tap into your inner child, if you have a date with a kindred spirit, this could be a great way to decompress from the work week, mix up your routine, and let some of the giggles out. So be creative! Try your hand at origami. Design cards for each other. See who can draw the best (or worst) self-portrait in crayon. Make candy necklaces. Whatever strikes your artistic fancy! It probably would be a good idea to wait to get to know your date a bit before suggesting this, but if you're a child at heart who has been dating someone whom you know to be a child at heart as well, there will be no harm in throwing it out there.
Warm beverages and snuggling. Winter provides an inescapable reason to cuddle, and who doesn't love some homemade hot chocolate or cider to go along with that? Again, this is a date idea only for later dates--once you're decidedly in the snuggling phase.
Board games. This is another idea that isn't for everyone, but if you and your date both do like board games, it's a great way to let loose, do something a little different, and use parts of your brain that have been sitting idly--maybe even breathe some life into a competitive spirit that is typically suppressed during the normal work day. You can also use the competitive aspect to your advantage by putting stakes on the game: for example, loser buys dinner on the next date, gives the winner a massage, or provides some other form of compensation that creates a win-win situation :)

Out-of-Home Activities
Aquarium. This is the winter version of the zoo. Learn something while releasing your inner child and cooing at the captivating creatures.
Ice skating. This is another great way to release your inner child (since you most likely will be surrounded by children) while getting some exercise--all with a potentially romantic twist! (Sadly, in many places, it may be too late to try out this idea, as many rinks close after the holidays.)
Sporting event. The NFL, NBA, and NHL seasons continue through the winter, so if you're lucky enough to live in or near a city that is home to at least one of these teams, and if you and your date are both sports fans, this is a great option, although the cost may be prohibitive to some, so be mindful of this when planning who will foot the bill.
Walk. In the absence of precipitation (or if you two are tough cookies), this idea still works in the winter and is perfect for a first date, honeymoon, or anything beyond or in between.
Volunteering. If you know that you share a passion for service, invite your date to join you at a mutually appealing volunteer opportunity. Assuming that there are other people volunteering with you, you probably won't get a ton of private time--so plan to get some food or otherwise spend some alone time beforehand or afterward--but whatever activity you choose will provide a shared experience, and you'll get a chance to see if and how well your date interacts with strangers, i.e. your fellow volunteers.
Mutually interesting class or lecture. This could be a one-time class/lecture or a series (I would recommend signing up for a series only with someone whom you've been dating for a while and whom you can reasonably expect to continue dating throughout the duration of the series), and the topic could be anything from cooking to economics to traveling to a foreign language to philosophy to politics to anything else that represents a shared interest. This activity doesn't lend itself well to conversation throughout, but it will provide content for discussion afterward, so be sure to plan to extend your date immediately after the class/lecture ends.
Show (or movie...). Most major cities have multitudes of theaters that host a wide range of shows: musicals, plays, comedy tours, concerts, improv--you name it, and in most cases, you can find it. You also, of course, can stick to the more standard version of this option, which is the movie, but I recommend other options, unless your date is a cinephile. Note that a movie is absolutely, 100% NOT recommended as a first date activity. A show can be acceptable, depending on the nature and length--as long as it isn't too controversial (most people don't want to get into a deeply rooted argument on a first date), would have wide appeal (if this is a first date, you probably don't know that much about the other person's tastes), and isn't too long (allowing you time to talk at some point, say, over dinner beforehand and/or drinks afterward), it usually will be okay, but it still may be better saved for a later date.
Museum. This, too, may be better saved for a later date, once you know that your date would be interested in this type of activity, or which particular type(s) of museum (s)he would be most interested in. If there's mutual interest, it will provide a great way for the two of you to get some insight into your date's (and perhaps even your own) perspective on the displayed material and any related topics of discussion that arise in your reviews of the experience.

As always, feel free to post comments, questions, or your own suggestions or experiences! Happy dating!

I resolve to follow through on my New Year's Resolutions

It's that time of year: when people start to give up on their New Year's Resolutions, even though they're not even two weeks into the endeavor! If you're one of these people, please, for your own sake, read this!

Most likely, your problem started a couple of weeks ago, when you first made your resolutions. A number of issues can arise during the creation stage:

1. Your goals are not attainable. Be realistic with yourself. You're not going to be elected President of the United States this November if you've never held public office in your life. Instead, set an intermediate goal that's more achievable in the short-term, such as being elected to your City Council. This may seem like an extreme example, but take a critical eye to your own goals and search for any analogous situations, and try to identify similar possible intermediate goals.
2. Your goals are not easily monitored. Setting a goal to "be a better person" is perfectly admirable, but gauging your progress is nearly impossible. Instead, cite specific behaviors that you'd like to perform more often, such as looking for opportunities to give sincere compliments or making periodic donations to charitable causes. That way, at the end of each day/week/month/another at least somewhat frequent interval, you can check in with yourself. You'll be encouraged to continue with your positive progress, and you'll be able to know exactly what are your greatest opportunities for improvement and how best to attack those.
3. You did not record your resolutions anywhere besides your own brain. Writing down your resolutions is essential to success. If you do not record them in some form, you will forget them, either due to the fallibility of the human memory, or intentionally--that is, because you have nothing but your own conscience to hold yourself accountable, and you know what, screw you, conscience, because I just don't feel like going to the gym today, just like I didn't yesterday and I won't tomorrow. Additionally, making the effort to write them down will ensure that you iron out the precise details of your goals, which will help you to make them both attainable and able to be monitored. If you rely on your memory, you're more likely to settle on something vague like "be a better person" instead of multiple more specific aspects of that general goal.
4. You recorded them, but not somewhere plainly visible or easily accessible. Okay, so you did write them down--great! But you can't for the life of you remember what you titled that Word document or in which folder (or sub-sub-sub-sub-sub-folder) you saved it. Well, that doesn't do you any good. Make sure to save or otherwise store the document (virtual or physical) in a place from which you can painlessly retrieve it when you need to refer to it, or an even better option is to post it on your fridge, at your desk, or somewhere else visible that you regularly visit, so that you have a constant reminder of how you should be behaving and what changes you should be making an effort to realize.
5. Your goals are realistic, but you did not word your resolutions in such a way that facilitate or encourage success. Even if you have a positive, achievable idea for a resolution, poor wording can be your undoing. Of course, one aspect of this consideration is writing them in a way that allows you to monitor your progress, as mentioned above. A comprehensive example of this is setting a goal to lose some amount of weight this year. For our purposes, let's use 30 pounds in this example. This is a perfectly achievable goal. A healthy weight loss goal is to target one pound a week, so with 52 weeks in a year, this even allows for a cushion! But targeting a large, lump sum like that over a long period of time like an entire year is typically not an effective strategy. First of all, it's daunting: 30 pounds is a lot of weight to lose! It's only natural to be intimidated by such a goal and, as a result, to continuously postpone working on it. Even if you go through a period of being very disciplined in your new exercise and diet regimen, you may be slow to see results, and even if you do, they will be incremental and will still leave you what will seem like miles from the finish line and consequently discouraged. Additionally, this large-scale goal is difficult to monitor, as the flexible timing leaves room for multiple slip ups, including even further weight gain, while retaining the ability to say, "It's okay; I'll get back on my diet tomorrow." A better approach is to target losing smaller amounts of weight over shorter periods of time, such as a pound a week, as referenced above. In my opinion, an even better approach is to not target weight loss but rather to set goals for diet and exercise--the causes of weight loss/gain, which is the symptom. As many of you probably know, in order to lose one pound of fat, you must burn 3500 calories more than you consume. Divide this by seven days in a week, and you see that you should net -500 calories per day. You can break this down any way you'd like: eating the same amount and burning an extra 500 calories; eating 250 fewer calories and burning 250 more; etc. Generally, some combination of eating less and burning more is both the easiest kind of change for you to make, because it eliminates any extreme alterations of habit, and the best thing for your body, for the same reason. As such, a great weight-loss resolution to make is to resolve to net -500 calories each day. It's completely attainable, which encourages success, and it's easy to monitor (provided that you take the time to educate yourself about the nutritional content of the food that you're eating, which you should! And be sure to not skimp on vegetables, fruit, and protein! And remember that water has zero calories but infinite health benefits!). Additionally, if you mess up one day, you will be aware of it and able to recover properly, and hey, it's just one day--you can choose to make up for it the next day or simply continue forward with your progress!

If your resolutions pass all of these tests, then you must be struggling in the execution phase. There are several possible issues in this stage as well:

1. You aren't holding yourself accountable. It is so easy to come up with excuses to not do something. Try to remember that you made your resolutions for a reason: these are changes that you wish to see in yourself. As Jim Rohn said, "The ultimate reason for setting goals is to entice you to become the person it takes to achieve them." Focus on the long-term satisfaction of having achieved success in your efforts instead of any short-term pain or unpleasantness that you may (believe that you will) suffer in the process. It will be worth it in the end, but you are the only one who can take responsibility for making these changes.
2. You aren't being realistic in your self-assessment. Perhaps you're monitoring your progress, but your perspective from the inside subjects you to a self-serving bias. However, if, as you're reading this, you feel that you fall into this category, you must have at some point been clued into the fact that you aren't actually achieving your goals--perhaps a friend mentioned to you that you really haven't made any strides toward being a better person, or maybe that stubborn scale is telling you that your calorie consumption estimates are off. Whatever the case, try to continue to consult that outside source, as well as others, for help in monitoring your progress or determining which goals are actually attainable.
3. You're procrastinating. Economic theory tells us that the rational person will quit smoking tomorrow. This strategy allows them to reap both the short-term benefits of enjoying the cigarette today as well as the long-term benefits associated with quitting, such as improved health and eliminated monetary costs. However, in order for this logic to hold, "tomorrow" must come, and the smoker must quit. If you're struggling to come to grips with the fact that your "tomorrow" has arrived, again, try setting intermediate, short-term goals to jumpstart your progress and help you achieve your goals for the year. Why put off until tomorrow what you can do today? And doing something for a day is easier than doing it for a year, so take it day by day, and before you know it, 365 of them will have passed, and you will have achieved your goal.
4. You aren't deliberately setting aside time and/or energy to your cause. Your extra weight won't disappear by itself; achieving any goal takes a certain amount of dedication on your part. Be sure to set aside time each day (or some other frequent interval) to assess your status. What do I need to do to reach my goal? Is this a realistic goal? Am I mentally, physically, and emotionally committed to achieving it? What progress have I made so far? Am I on track? How can I improve my performance? What has caused any missteps so far? Am I making excuses for myself? What are my upcoming intermediate goals? Are there any external forces looming imminently that may disrupt my progress, and how can I stymie their potential effects? Regularly asking yourself these questions (and others that are more specific to your particular goals) will ensure that you are taking responsibility for keeping yourself on track.

I hope that these suggestions help you to achieve your goals and become the person that you want to be! As always, let me know if you have any questions or comments. Good luck, and happy New Year!