Voicing your thoughts, emotions, and desires can be a daunting task: you're putting your insides on display, thereby opening yourself up to scrutiny and ridicule. What often goes unacknowledged, however, is that you also are creating an opportunity for validation and possibly even the recruitment of assistance in realizing your desires.
For example, let's pretend that your career goal is to be a world-renowned actor. While not unattainable, it certainly is lofty--and therefore may be a bit embarrassing to disclose. Pessimistic responses to such an admission would not be uncommon, as the odds are against you. However, you just as easily could be met with encouragement from those who have seen you act, and it's entirely possible that anyone whom you encounter--friends or strangers--might know someone in the business who could provide assistance in your career advancement!
The same scenario could surface in connection to matters of the heart. You're interested in someone and would like to ask her out; you'd like your boyfriend to stop using pet names in front of your friends; you want to "become official" with the girl you're dating; you want to break up. Upon expressing these feelings and wishes, you may be met with contradiction: "That's very sweet, but I see you as a really good friend--nothing more." "Schnookums! What?! You don't like it when I call you Pumpkin in front of other people?? Well I don't think I can stop!" "I'm not ready for that commitment yet..." "ARE YOU @!*&ING KIDDING ME?!?!?!?!?!?!"
The threat of these responses may overpower any urge to share these feelings, but if your optimism does manage to prevail, you may be pleasantly surprised by a response that offers not only confirmation of your sentiment but also maybe even assistance in realizing it: "Dinner tomorrow night sounds fantastic. I can't wait!" "Haha, I was just doing it because I thought you liked it! I love our pet names, but I'd rather keep them as our little secret." "I've been waiting for you to ask me that! *make out*" "Yeah.... it's time."
Here is an anecdotal example: My friend "Helen" went on a fantastic first date that was practically straight out of a movie. The attraction was tangible, and there was even a beach make-out. Plans for a second date were discussed, but days passed before he called again, and when he finally did, it was to say that he couldn't see her anymore: she was too sweet, and he was trouble--he'd just end up being an asshole to her.
Needless to say, she was upset, both because she was disappointed that it hadn't worked out and because she was miffed that he would make that decision for her--how did he know how sweet she was or how much asshole she could handle?
After stewing for a couple weeks, she ended up seeing him again at a gathering of mutual friends. A couple of his good friends discussed the topic with her; their comments assured her that he really did like her as much as it had seemed on the date--and one of them mentioned that it is very rare for him to really like a girl. My friend voiced her frustration to one of them, who encouraged her to go to the guy and tell him all of what she was feeling.
So she did. After she had gotten through several sentences conveying the gist of her sentiments, he interrupted her with a long kiss.
Again, it could be straight out of a movie. But it's real life, and it could happen to you too--if you make it happen. I've said it before, and I'll say it again, "Go get it or regret it!" It always applies!
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