Go get it or regret it

We have all been there. The cute barista. The guy in the suit on the subway. The blonde in the blue dress on Main Street. The scruffy cowboy sitting at the other end of the bar. You see them. They see you. You make eye contact. You even hold eye contact.

But that’s the end of the story. I don’t know about you, but that’s not a movie that I’d recommend to my friends.

As if the story itself weren’t bad enough, the aftermath is even worse. Regret plagues you at least into the next day: “I cannot believe I didn’t talk to her…” Naturally, you invent scores of witty remarks that you could have made: “Oh, that would’ve been so funny! Aarrrghh!!!!!!” No one else you see compares: “How could I have passed up the opportunity to talk to the guy who is apparently the hottest male in this city?!” You beat yourself up incessantly, wondering why, why, WHY you couldn’t manage to muster the courage to initiate a conversation when you had the chance—and chances are, it was your only chance.

In the moment, of course, the task seems quite daunting: “What do I say? What if I stutter? Could I have something stuck in my teeth? What if he has a girlfriend? What if he completely rejects me?” It therefore becomes very easy to talk yourself out of it: “I don’t even look that cute today. He probably wouldn’t even be interested. A guy that attractive couldn’t possibly NOT already be attached. I don’t even know what to say anyway. I’d probably make a complete idiot out of myself.”

But a minute later, when the opportunity has passed, your mistake is unmistakable: “Wow, really? You just let a gorgeous woman walk out of your life without even speaking to her? Just because you were afraid of a little rejection? Yeah, that’s some substantial justification. Choo choo, Excuse Train, coming through! This is the Coward Cove Station. Next stop, Lonely Land!”

In the absence of a time machine, the only remedy is to learn from your mistakes and make a better decision the next time. When I need a reminder of how to avoid this frustration, I tell myself, “Go get it or regret it.”

When faced with the choice between a) possibly having to swallow my pride at the hands of rejection but possibly getting the chance to bask in the joyous accomplishment of manning up (!) or b) most certainly feeling remorse for an indefinite period of time and most certainly not having a shot with this particular attractive man/woman, I think it’s only logical to choose the former.

Even if you don’t “get it,” you’ll regret it more if you don’t even try. But if you don’t try, you definitely won’t “get it.” So, always remember, go get it or regret it!